Feeling God Work On Me

Back in town, trying to catch up, and there's a bunch of stuff in my head. God has been messing with me for the last 6-8 weeks on some stuff, and I'm slowly getting my bearings on what direction I need to go and where we as a church family need to move as this all propels us forward. I have some personal issues that have been pushed to the surface, and I'm starting to get them in perspective in order to let God work them through. I just told someone today that it's like there are parts of my life that are in need of being ground off. They have been painted bright red so I can see them clearly, and now God has the grinder turned on and is starting to take the first layers off. Not pretty, not fun, but once it's over, I'll be in a better place. That's the hope and promise of God.

One of those issues is conflict. I don't like conflict. I've had many, MANY negative experiences with conflict, especially in church. When people disagree with one another, we don't always deal with that in the most effective, helpful, God-honoring way. I know that I am not in a hurry to deal with the conflicts in my life most of the time because I'm not looking to have my butt handed to me in someone's moment of anger. It's happened too many times, and what I've learned from those experiences is that conflict is bad.

Unfortunately I've learned the wrong lesson.

Conflict doesn't have to leave me feeling battered and bruised. What God has been getting into my head is that having disagreements is not bad, and we can all learn and grow if we deal with our differences in healthy, loving and honest ways. I need to be more honest with people when we get crossways with each other. I need to listen and say back what I hear, and I need to honestly describe my feelings and my position in a way that will allow more conversation. I also have to learn that one conversation will not always get it done. One is better than none, and two might be the beginning of healing.

I can't expect that people will understand me in one dose, and I will probably need to hear it more than once to understand someone else's position. That's more work, and it's more patience, and it's more grace and a need for more of God's love in my life. But if what God is trying to do in my life and in our church is worth anything, it's worth the effort to get conflict right. Not avoid it, which is my preferred dysfunction, or to make it a fight to the death, which is how it gets portrayed in a lot of people's experience. We need to listen to each other (me to you, you to me), and we need to remember that God is in charge, trying to make both of us more like Jesus.

So let me say it this way: I'm still feeling God work on me. If you're still feeling God work on you, then we're in the same boat. We have to be gentle with each other, but we also need to get 'stuff' out in the open and deal with it together. So let's purpose together to do our conflict better than ever so that we can grow more than ever and see God's kingdom expand further than ever.