What I Learned at Camp Today

Back in Post Falls for the annual Pastor's Conference that our Region puts on, and God is once again telling me great stuff. I'm here with Aaron (check out his blog, he's posted about what we've been hearing), Kathy Nelson and Stacy Rude. We've spent the day hearing great stuff on the Holy Spirit's work in our lives, in our ministries and in our churches. We've been prayed for and encouraged, and I'm listening to what God is saying loud and clear.

The work that God's been doing in my heart and mind to heal me from the struggles I've had over the last few years is continuing, and God is telling me that boldness, courage, strength and joy are what we will need to move the church forward from here. I'm filled with encouragement and a sense of assurance and peace that is deeper than I've felt in a looooonnnnggg time.

After the message Sunday about unity (and thanks to all of you who prayed, it was an amazing day of ministry), I am sure that God is setting us up for what comes next. We're in the black financially for the second week in a row, we had over 20 people sign up to be in a Connection Group, we gave out close to 100 I Saw The Lord workbooks, and we've got 4-5 folks wanting to get baptized. All that good stuff is just the beginning, and in a few months, we'll see what else God has for us. But none of it will come without prayer, hard work at unity and loving each other, and a renewed commitment to be a church that is sold out on the idea that Jesus wants us to love, bless, serve and share with the community where He's placed us.

I'm feeling God's healing and a renewed sense of purpose in my life. I hope that God is speaking to you, too. Listen to His voice, hear what He's telling us, and be ready for anything. I've got one more day of learning up here, then a drive home (avoiding Deer Lodge, of course...), then prep for the beginning of I Saw The Lord. I hope you're planning to join us for campaign, because it's going to be something special. I don't know what all God has in store for us, but after today, I believe more than ever that it's going to rock our lives.

A Prayer Request

I've got another trip out of town coming up, and as much as I look forward to learning, hanging out with friends and colleagues, and being challenged spiritually and intellectually, I'm not a fan of the travel thing. I'm one of those people who likes getting to be in other places, I just don't always like the getting there part. Here's hoping that they perfect the Star Trek transporter one of these days and can just zap us from here to there without any delay, detours or Deer Lodge.

A few years ago, we went to the Region pastor's retreat in Post Falls, and we drove. There were eight of us in a big, 12 passenger van, and we stopped to get gas and dinner in Deer Lodge, Montana. What began as a pit stop ended up being an extended stay. While we waited for dinner at the local bar and grill, we saw the three quarters of a football game and half of the movie, "The Blues Brothers." I've had slow service before, but this was way beyond anything we could have imagined. On the way out of town, we found there was a whole other part of town that included three fast food places where we could have been in, out and gone. To this day, the folks on that trip will talk about going somewhere and hoping to avoid another Deer Lodge.

I'm also not much on the journey in my life. I like to get places, learn what I need to learn, whatever it is in a big hurry, then be done with it. I'm not one for the slow cruise, the scenic route or anything when it comes to God working in my life. But there's my way, and then there's God's way, and between the two, God's way is better. I want to learn more quickly; God wants it to sink in more deeply. I want it to be over with in a hurry; God wants it to be fastened in tightly. I want instant; God wants constant. More often than not, I lose, but I go down fighting.

This Sunday I'm finishing up the series on God's Game Plan, and the last message is one that God has been simmering in my heart for months. I didn't realize that it was going to come out this week, but the time was right, and it was totally in line with the context of what we've been talking about. The message is going to be about unity in the church. And because of that, I expect that there will be resistance on many levels and many fronts. I'm sure that some folks will be concerned that I'm talking about them. I'm sure Satan, who loves it when we fight with each other, will make sure to stir up trouble ahead of and behind this message. I'm sure that I will feel more than once that I should go a different direction.

But I'm asking for your prayers this weekend, because this might be the most important message I give all year. We're right in front of a campaign to get people reading their Bibles with I Saw the Lord, and then it will be Christmas, one of the most important times of year for people to invite their friends to come here about God's gift of Jesus. But none of that will make the difference that God intends if we don't work to get along as a church. None of it will stick, none of it will grow us, none of it will connect to us of the people we bring to church if we don't work on loving each other, listening to each other, and living out the love of God in our lives in real community. A divided church is not a church; it's an poster for the inability of God to really change lives. We are a bad advertisement when we bicker more than we pray and when we gossip more than we give.

So would you take a minute, even right now, to pray for the services this Sunday? Pray for God to empower the service with His Spirit in a way that short circuits the attempts of the enemy to stop His message of unity and harmony in His church. Pray for me to be brave and say the hard things that need to be said. Pray for people to see themselves in the message and take it to heart, not just take it out on me. Pray for the spirit of unity to fall on our church family, and for us to ratchet up the effort it will take to be together, live together, serve together and love one another in Jesus' name.

We've been through a time of transition, and it's been hard on us as a church family. Some folks have struggled with some of the changes and improvements we've been making to our structure, our administration and other parts of our life together. The temptation in that situation is to pull back, pull apart, or pull out. We've seen people do all three of those, and it hurts whenever it happens. Gossip, stonewalling and avoidance become habits if we let them, and none of them are a reflection of God's love working in our lives. What we need to do is pull together, love each other, pursue peace. In other words, we can get stuck in a Deer Lodge of dysfunction, or we can get back on the Highway to God's plan for our church family. Did I mention I don't want to go back to Dear Lodge?

I know that God's will is that we be one. Jesus prayed for it, so I know it's the plan. Let's all pray according to His will and agree with Jesus' prayer that we might be one.

Pray for me, and I'll see you Sunday.

Finding The Joy On A Monday...

I don't like Mondays. Yes, that's also the title of a Boomtown Rats song from the late 80's, but that's not why I said it. I don't like Mondays. After the excitement and energy of a Sunday like yesterday, I'm so fired up about life and God and church and everything that when I finally get to crash, I crash hard. Monday mornings become this giant effort to remind myself that the rest of the week starts now, and I have to get going or nothing good will happen next Sunday. I pray almost every Monday that it's a snow day and I can stay home and sleep in. Even in September.

I used to take Mondays off, but I just hated feeling that bad on my own time. I would get less than nothing done at my house, couldn't get motivated on any hobbies, and left myself feeling both wiped out and guilty when it was all over. At least when I work Mondays I can force myself to step one foot in front of the other until either the Holy Spirit or Starbucks kicks in and moves me.

The melancholy is always greater after the bigger events. After Christmas, I'm a waste-oid, and the Monday after Easter is the bottom of an emotional and physical sink hole that takes a couple days to get out of. Big Sundays, like when we have a baptism or some other big deal, always take it out of me just a little bit more than an 'average' Sunday. Which makes how I feel today a little strange.

I'm pasted. I'm gassed. I'm rung out. I'm toast. I'm blotto. It feels like the Monday after Easter without the ham leftovers in my fridge. It took me a little while to figure out why I'm so empty today, but here's what I think it was: this was a big Sunday in disguise. It was a message about giving God control of our lives, letting Him make the call for us, and God moved a bunch of people to sign up for ministry, make time to talk through sticky issues with someone, and give financially. We had the best offering of the year at a time when we truely needed it. God moved in our service and through our people, and He's positioning us for the next steps. It wasn't the biggest crowd ever, but people were engaged. It wasn't the best message I've ever preached, but people were listening. It wasn't the BIG PRODUCTION Sunday, but it was a day that something changed.

I don't know if I'm over reading, or if I'm just coming down with the flu, but the way I feel, coupled with the response of God's people to the Word as it was preached makes me think that God nudged us a step yesterday. So I'm looking for the joy today. I'm looking for the opportunity to give God the Praise for what He's doing in our church and in my life today. I'm excited to hear what comes from the ministry sign ups and the personal decisions people made yesterday. I'm believing God that this is the begining of having the resources we need to step our ministry up a couple notches. I'm praising God for the time, talent and treasure that will be released into His hands for ministry in the weeks to come, and what impact that's going to have on our valley.

So Melancholy Monday, move over. I'm busy praising today.

Bill turns 41

Yes, it's my birthday. And having listened to my dad tell people he was 29 until I was 37, I don't pretend. I'm 41 today, and I'm excited about what comes next in my life. If I'm not as athletically gifted as I once was, maybe (and I do mean maybe) I've collected some wisdom in it's place. It's a fair trade. :)

All glory to God that I'm even here after all I've been through, and much love to my amazing family, my gift-from-God friends, and all the roof crashers I've been privileged to serve with and know over the years.

Living and Learning

I've posted the summaries from my book reviews from my study leave this summer, and a couple people have asked for the full review, which I'm glad to share. Now, before we get into the full swing of fall, I want to tell you what it is that God showed me in the three weeks I was studying.

First, God refreshed the fire in my heart for the ministry He's called me to do. I'll spare you the details, but there have been a number of de-motivators in my life over the last several months, and it's been a time of sorting through to make sure I really had heard from God about what I'm supposed to be doing, what the ministry here at First Baptist was supposed to be about, what is supposed to get my attention and what I need to avoid and ignore. Honestly, there's been a lot of struggle with all of that. I've questioned my calling, my gifts, my heart. Other people have questioned my commitment, my character and my integrity. It's been a difficult season.

But in fighting to take a study leave, I've been reminded that the best gift I have to give to God's work at First Baptist is myself. I give myself to this ministry, with all my faults and failings, all my shortcomings and self-doubt, all my gifts and abilities, and everything else. I give that gift because I want to and because God has asked it of me. So if I take time to take care of myself, it's to tend to the gift that God has provided for me to give to His church. It may not make everyone happy that I miss a few Sundays to try to learn and to grow as a person, but it's still the right thing to do.

I guess that it's the biggest lesson of the summer: I can't make everyone happy. I can't make everyone around me all feel good about me, good about church, good about their own life; I can't make anyone feel anything. I am limited in my ability to 'make' people do or feel anything. God has called me to this ministry, and I'm not supposed to surrender that calling to anyone, for any reason. The Holy Discontent book was the start of remembering that it's God's calling in my life to serve, not to make people happy. The Five Dysfunctions of a Team book was the tool God used to show me that the way I've handled my life has made it hard for trust to flourish in the leadership of the church, because I have not handled the conflict that is always a part of any human endeavor with the right spirit, the right tools, or the right timing. The Coaching For Performance book reminded me that with a little patience and some good questions, even people who disagree can be brought on board or at least made to feel like they've been heard. And the final piece that fell into place was the Emotionally Healthy Church book that said, "If you're a Senior Pastor, you need to be emotionally healthy or your church will not be emotionally healthy."

Okay, you put all that together and I hear this message: I've got a lot to work on in my life in terms of learning limits, building better relationships and learning to be vulnerable to people, handling conflict more effectively, creating space in my life to both celebrate and mourn, and taking intentional steps to keep the fire of God's Spirit stoked and burning at the maximum in my life. There are other, smaller pieces as well, but these are the biggies. I am more excited than scared at the prospect of God doing that much 'spiritual surgery' in my life, because I can see the ultimate outcomes being very good for me, for the church and, by extension, for the Kingdom of God. That being said, there's going to be a bunch of pain attached to this. I am not a fan of pain, but I'm looking for the outcome. Like I said on Sunday, looking past the giants to see the grapes.

As much as I'd like to not have all this to learn, it does mean that God is not yet done with me. I like to think that I'm still teachable, that I can still learn a few things and that my heart is not hardened to what God might want to show me next. The people who have stopped learning in life have stopped living, and I want to keep living right up to the end of my life. So here's to the next season of learning, living and all that God has next. Pray for me, I think I'm going to need it.

Feeling God Work On Me

Back in town, trying to catch up, and there's a bunch of stuff in my head. God has been messing with me for the last 6-8 weeks on some stuff, and I'm slowly getting my bearings on what direction I need to go and where we as a church family need to move as this all propels us forward. I have some personal issues that have been pushed to the surface, and I'm starting to get them in perspective in order to let God work them through. I just told someone today that it's like there are parts of my life that are in need of being ground off. They have been painted bright red so I can see them clearly, and now God has the grinder turned on and is starting to take the first layers off. Not pretty, not fun, but once it's over, I'll be in a better place. That's the hope and promise of God.

One of those issues is conflict. I don't like conflict. I've had many, MANY negative experiences with conflict, especially in church. When people disagree with one another, we don't always deal with that in the most effective, helpful, God-honoring way. I know that I am not in a hurry to deal with the conflicts in my life most of the time because I'm not looking to have my butt handed to me in someone's moment of anger. It's happened too many times, and what I've learned from those experiences is that conflict is bad.

Unfortunately I've learned the wrong lesson.

Conflict doesn't have to leave me feeling battered and bruised. What God has been getting into my head is that having disagreements is not bad, and we can all learn and grow if we deal with our differences in healthy, loving and honest ways. I need to be more honest with people when we get crossways with each other. I need to listen and say back what I hear, and I need to honestly describe my feelings and my position in a way that will allow more conversation. I also have to learn that one conversation will not always get it done. One is better than none, and two might be the beginning of healing.

I can't expect that people will understand me in one dose, and I will probably need to hear it more than once to understand someone else's position. That's more work, and it's more patience, and it's more grace and a need for more of God's love in my life. But if what God is trying to do in my life and in our church is worth anything, it's worth the effort to get conflict right. Not avoid it, which is my preferred dysfunction, or to make it a fight to the death, which is how it gets portrayed in a lot of people's experience. We need to listen to each other (me to you, you to me), and we need to remember that God is in charge, trying to make both of us more like Jesus.

So let me say it this way: I'm still feeling God work on me. If you're still feeling God work on you, then we're in the same boat. We have to be gentle with each other, but we also need to get 'stuff' out in the open and deal with it together. So let's purpose together to do our conflict better than ever so that we can grow more than ever and see God's kingdom expand further than ever.

From the Panhandle

I'm a little behind schedule on my Monday post because I flew to Post Falls for a conference (paid for by our Region, so thank God for Dr. Charles and Co.!!), and it was a mad rush to get from the Spokane Airport to the convention center, then right into the middle of the learning. The speaker is Jim Putman from Real Life Ministries here in Post Falls, one of the fastest growing churches in America. A 10 year old church, they had close to 9,000 people in 5 services this weekend, and they do some of the most amazing reach out stuff going in the Northwest. The most impressive part isn't that they have such a big crowd, though that does get your attention. No, what's really amazing about this church is the spiritual growth of it's people and how they go about creating an atmosphere where spiritual maturity happens. He's been talking about discipleship and what it means to help people grow in their relationship with God, a subject that gets a lot of discussion back in Pocatello, to be sure.

I'm in the midst of processing what he's saying while trying to understand what's been going on in the the life of our First Baptist Church family and what God has been teaching us. All the transitions of the last 30 months or so have left us asking some good questions about what we're supposed to be doing, what we're supposed to be learning and sharing, and what we're supposed to do about it when we see God stirring in our midst. We've known that discipleship is a major chunk of what we have to do to keep moving forward for a long time. Hiring Pastor Brian Neely was one major attempt to address the issue of increasing the level of spiritual maturity, and our attempts to re-vamp the Connection Group ministry are another.

I think we're getting closer to cracking the code of growing Christians in the culture where we live. Some of the parts are in place, and some of the pieces are still out there for us to find, but I believe we will soon be in position to reach, disciple and deploy and ever increasing number of Christ-followers in our valley for the Glory of God. It's going to take effort and sacrifice from lots of us, and a boatload of prayer and listening to God, but I'm more convinced today that we're getting closer to it than we've been in a long time.

There has been a good response to our series on prayer, and now the first of the Game Plan messages seemed to connect with folks. Here's my favorite connection: a couple people asked, "So what are we supposed to do when we get 'disturbed,' Bill?" Great question!! Keep listening, because I think God is going to let us know. If you're disturbed by the need for more and better discipleship in our church family, then keep praying, keep listening, and keep watching for God's lead, and be ready to jump on it when God shows it to us.

Meantime, I'll be taking good notes while I'm here, and we'll all see what God's up to.

Study Leave Book Reflection #4

The last of the four books I read on Study Leave. This one was more personal than the other three, but as I will share with you next week, it was the capstone set of ideas for the entire three weeks of spending time with God and studying. Props to my friends who have been telling me to read this, and props again to Dr. Charles for making it a part of our LLC reading this next year.

As always, I'll be happy to send the full reflection to anyone who wants it, and thanks to the folks who have requested other reviews. Enjoy!

Reflections on The Emotionally Healthy Church

Author: Peter Scazzero 223 pages. Published by Zondervan

Summary:

Scazzero is a pastor in Queens, New York who discovered that the training he received to be a pastor did not prepare him for personal emotional health, nor did it prepare him to lead people to real spiritual health which includes emotional health. The basis of the book is his own journey to discover the need for emotional health in his spiritual life, and how that has transformed his ministry and his church. The premise is that without emotional health, our spiritual growth as Christians is stunted. When we don’t allow God to work on our emotional health, we miss a portion of the grace, healing and wholeness that Jesus wants to work out in our lives. The five principles for emotional health that Scazzero puts forth are 1) Look beneath the surface, 2) Break the power of the past, 3) Live in brokenness and vulnerability, 4) Receive the gift of limits, and 5) embrace grieving and loss. The key is that emotional health begins in the life of the senior pastor, then needs to be practiced and mentored into the lives of the staff, leaders, volunteers and then onto the congregation of a church.

Catching Up On a Great Weekend

First off, a big THANK YOU to Paul Austin for his amazing message on Sunday. Having been on the sidelines at the ISU game in Boise all evening, then sitting on a bus for 4+ hours, getting in after 2 am, then preaching two services for us - what an effort! But more importantly, he let God use him to bring a powerful close to our Simply Pray series. If you didn't make it to worship, you need to get a copy of this message, God spoke clearly through Paul to tell us that paying attention to prayer matters, and God loves us enough to both listen and speak to us in prayer.

The next series up is Game Plan, talking about God's strategy for our lives. Yes, there is a movie by the same name, but no, this is not a Blockbuster. This is a series on faith, following God and staying focused. We start this Sunday, the kickoff of our ministry year, and I'm excited to see where God is taking us.

Speaking of where God is taking us, I need to ask a favor: if you are a regular in the 11 o'clock service, and if it's possible, could you move to the 9 o'clock service? We are filling up in the 11, and we have some space available in the 9, so if you could make that move, it would help us put off creating a third service for a little longer. The last two Sundays, with school back in session and people inviting their friends, we've been pretty full in the second service (even on a holiday weekend!!) It's a good problem to have, but we need to get a few details ironed out before we can launch a third service, and if we could get 25 people to move services, we would be in great shape for a couple more months. And keep praying and inviting folks, God is making a move!!

Last, but not least, I'm praising God for the amazing Leadership Team meeting we had on Saturday. You need to know that the leaders of our church are a committed, engaged, prayerful bunch of God-chasers. I'm proud to be a part of such a team, and I'm looking forward to the good that God is going to do in us and through us as a team and as a church. There is a lot to do, but we are on our way, and I'm feeling blessed by the whole experience.

I'll look for you on Wednesday night as we gather for one more Night of Prayer and give praise to God for all the good He's doing and going to do.