It Will Feel Better (When It Quits Hurting...)

The announcement this week that Pastor Jeremy Malekos will be leaving our staff and taking a position in the power industry in California was greeted with mixed emotions. For some, there is sadness over losing Jeremy and Amy from our staff, and their family from our LifePoint family. For others, the joy of knowing that God has laid out a plan for their lives that will put them in position to continue to serve God, learn and grow, and be better prepared for the next ministry calling God would put on their lives in the future. There are also some feeling confusion about what this means for LifePoint, for our Student Ministries, and for our own personal lives and relationships.

So before we make any other public announcements about this transition, let me say this: we will all need space to process this both mentally and emotionally, so let's give ourselves and each other permission to grieve and walk through this loss. We all will need time to process all that this will mean in our lives and our church, and no one is in a rush to 'just get over it.' We need to move intentionally to deal with all the feelings and aspects of this loss.

A friend of mine used to joke whenever someone stubbed a toe or hit their thumb with a hammer: "It'll feel better when it quits hurting!" That's actually true. It won't feel better before the hurting is done, so you can't rush it. Some things just take time, and as Pastor Roy Conover likes to say, "There's no substitute for time." But when it does quit hurting, when the grief and grieving are past, it will feel better. We will have a fresh perspective on our lives, our church and the steps God has ahead of us, and we will be able to appreciate where we've come and get excited about where we're going.

I just want everyone to know that the leadership at LifePoint is working on the details of moving forward in this transition time, so you don't need to worry about that just yet. Focus on loving the Malekos family through their transition, and then on healthy processing of this whole deal. If you need to grieve, then do so without feeling pressured or rushed. Just walk it through, and let God's wisdom and grace (along with His family, the church) help you through it.

And trust in the promise that God has our church right where HE wants us. It's going to feel better...

Remembering 2010 - Part 2

I've been having this ongoing nostalgia for where I was this time last year, both physically and emotionally, and it got me thinking. For those who are newer to Roof Crashers, this time last year I was in the beginning stages of interviewing for the job of Lead Pastor at LifePoint Church, and was wrestling with God about the call to leave a place I'd been for 14 years as Senior Pastor at FBC Pocatello. It's been a year of constant transition (we've had three home addresses, two moves, and bought one new couch), and like I said, it got me thinking.

Before you move, you should always decide on what goes with you and what you sell, give away, throw away or otherwise leave behind. We did that with furniture, mattresses, clothes, papers, etc... in each move this year. So I was thinking about what I would want to take with me and what I want to leave behind as we moved from 2010 into 2011. When I tweeted about it, I got some good responses. Here's what I've been thinking:

I want to leave behind 5 things:

• My insecurity as a leader - I'm here because I've been called by God, and affirmed by prayerful people. I have nothing to prove and no one to impress. Thanks, Larry Osborne, for that great quote and lesson!
• My fear of failure - I don't have to be right all the time, and I don't have to be perfect. I just need to try my best to hear from God and do what I hear Him say. Failure is a great teacher.
• My 'people pleaser mode' - Moving to a larger church has taught me quickly that there is no room for being a people pleaser. I thought I could please everyone in my life before, but couldn't, and it befuddled me to no end that I couldn't do it. Now, I know I can't do it, so I do my very best, trust God for the results, and leave the people pleasing in the past.
• My resume' - What got me here isn't what's going to get me there, so I need to put aside the 'gold stars' on my past resume' and focus on what I need to learn to move God's church ahead here and now.
• My fantasy job - There is no church with too much money and not enough problems. Bigger isn't better, it's just bigger. It's not worse, it's just bigger. A church is people, and people have both problems and potential. There are more opportunities for both, so don't waste time dreaming of somewhere else, make the Big Dream happen here.

And 5 things I want to take with me into 2011:

• A hunger to know God more - I am more aware of my need for God than ever before, and I want to know and hear and obey more and more the God who holds all things in His hands, who pours out Grace and Mercy from His heart to mine.
• A closer bond with my family - this move has opened up more avenues for the four of us to connect, grow closer and listen to each other. I never want to lose that.
• A deeper respect for the past - both mine and that of LifePoint Church. I see over and over again the amazing work that God did through Dr. John Jackson, his wife Pam and the founding families here at (CVC) LifePoint. This is a hard, hard area to do ministry, but God used them all to break through, and now, ministries across the valley are more effective, while this particular church continues to thrive and lead. This year has also taught me that God has been preparing me for this time, this calling, this place. All the difficult ministry of my past nearly 20 years as a pastor have been preparing and building me to face the challenges of "such a time as this." So humbling to follow a great leader, and to know that God has been preparing me to do just that.
• A deeper appreciation for my friends - the move has helped me to reconnect with some friends, deepen bonds with others, make new friends, and see the value in friendship in a fresh way. Nothing like starting over to show you that you never really start over when you have real friends in your life.
• Special memories - the last weekend in Pocatello, the send off party for the ages, the gift of a beautiful nativity set from my FBC staff, the drive to Minden, the first weekend at LifePoint Church (thanks again to Curt Harlow!!), the first staff meeting, the Easter blackout, the first Tahoe Baptism, the help of the church family to move (again), the amazing Christmas season... just a sampling of what I don't ever want to forget about 2010.

What are you taking/leaving from 2010?

Catching Up

Okay first, thanks for hanging in and being patient with me. Things have been intense lately, and I haven't had moments to read blogs, much less write one. So, here's the update, and the plan going forward:

After a process that tried my patience to the MAXIMUM, Beth and I were able to purchase a house last month. It's a very nice three bedroom home with a great kitchen, and a back yard full of... potential. It was bank owned, so the yard was abandoned months and months ago, leaving the grass and most of the trees dead. It will be a project for the spring, but some nice folks from church put in new grass in the front yard, so the neighbors like us right away. The house is closer to the church and in a nice neighborhood, close to Rachel's school and Mac's best friends. I just tried out the walking trail this morning, it is in great shape. I, however, am not.

We have spent the last month packing up, moving our stuff over, unpacking and setting up the new house, so workouts and just about anything else has been on the back burner. Other than cheering the SF Giants to the World Series win (while unpacking boxes), there's been little on the 'fun' side of the ledger. I'm so tired of cardboard right now...

Also while all the packing and moving and unpacking has gone on, we've been working on the budget for LifePoint Church. We're changing our fiscal year to start in July, so we're doing a 'mini-budget' for January through June. It's been a challenge to change how we think about budgeting and to try to forecast our congregation's giving going into the New Year. What's the economy going to do here? What's the excitement level going to be for what God is unveiling to us about the future?

The move of placing Pastor Mark Marsella over our small group ministry and take him out of Worship Arts has already paid dividends. We're seeing a huge influx of people wanting to be in groups, and we're praying and looking for leaders to rising to the surface to take on those groups. Mark and Gayle just went to a training event in Stockton this week, so progress and a plan for the future are both being made.

I'm excited about the current series, "Name That 'Tude," and Pastor Roy gets another opportunity to teach in this one. The Christmas series, set design, Christmas Eve services and all that are coming together very nicely right now, and the energy is building. I'm fired up to see what the end of this year and the start of 2011 have in store for us in God's plan.

Okay, that will get you (mostly) caught up. I'm going to try to blog two to three times a week, and we'll see what comes out of it. God is teaching me some great lessons, reminding me of some more great lessons I learned along my journey, and preparing me for more lessons to learn. It's an exciting time, and a time to learn to trust God more and more.

Something Fun To Try

I like Twitter, I enjoy taking the 140 characters I've been allowed and make a message. I like reading the short, pithy comments and thoughts of people I want to hear from. It's a powerful discipline to be brief and clear in a world so full of words. I'm an extroverted, verbal processing teacher and speaker, and one of the hardest things for me to is work to keep things brief. So it's good to work hard to be concise.

Here at LifePoint Church, we've put together a team that is working to rethink, revise and reconnect to the vision God has for our church family. It's exciting work, important work, and just plain hard work. The first exercise: express a statement of belief for each of several concepts in 10 words or less.

So, reading scripture, praying, thinking, I sat down to work on this, and can I just tell you: THAT'S HARD TO DO!! Say what's really important about what you believe about prayer in 10 words or less. Go ahead. Or the Holy Spirit. Or church. It's not as easy as you think.

Now, imagine sitting in a room with a group of people who all come from different backgrounds, different church experiences, different educational experiences, and different life stages, and all of them have their 10 word statements, too. Now, you've got to combine, discuss, sift through and, most importantly agree on a single statement out of all you just did.

This is what I've been doing all weekend (around the great services at LifePoint), and it's been the most amazing experience. I'm learning a ton, sharing what I know, and growing along with the rest of the team. It's been hard, but it's been amazing. I can't tell you how great this experience has been. I'm so proud of the Lifers on this team, I'm so glad to have Dr. Bill Hoyt from Growing Healthy Churches come help, and I cannot wait to see where this whole process leads us as a church. More to come on all this, but I'm exhausted, exhilarated, and excited to see what comes next after all this work. So, in 10 words:

Preparing for God's powerful next chapter of ministry at LifePoint!

Updating Along The Journey

I had a great talk with a friend from Idaho last night, and was reminded how much work and time is involved in the transition, any transition, that we walk through in life. It's hard to remember that it takes time to settle things down, to figure out what the 'new normal' will be, whether that's in a friendship after someone moves, or in a new job, or in the twists and turns of ministry. Things don't always go according to our plans, and the unintended outcomes of our decisions along the way sneak up on us from time to time.

For instance, my friend was telling me that they get that my life here is full, it's just hard to remember when they are missing me and can't talk to me every day like we used to. It's a process, getting used to the changes that God takes us through. So we took time to reassure each other of our friendship and that in the midst of finding the 'new normal,' we still pray for each other and still care for each other. It's hard, but God is in it, so it will be good.

So one of the places where I want to be effective is on this blog, but in the midst of the transition, my time to post has suffered. I'm still finding my way, and despite my ever-changing schedule, it seems I can't figure out when to post, or how to carve the time to do it. I could use your prayers for effective ministry, and that the right priorities, including time to blog, get sifted through the God filter and show up where He wants them to be.

This week has been up and down, but all good. My 100th day on the job at LifePoint Church was Tuesday, and it was marked with some good stuff and some hard stuff. Other meetings and appointments were about important, God-focused opportunities and the challenges that always accompany them, but the hand of God is clearly moving us forward.

This weekend there will be a special message for the LifePoint family. If you can be there for one of the services, please do. There will be a special time of prayer offered afterward for anyone in need, so if you need prayer, come get some, and if you want to pray, come bring some.

As the pioneer missionary Adoniram Judson liked to say, "The future is as bright as the promises of God!" Keep looking to the promises, and we'll see the future continue to light up!

Getting REALLY Real

I'm really supposed to be finishing my message for this weekend, but I had to stop and post this. This week was another amazing time of work, prayer and faith in God at LifePoint Church. As we continue to transition (it's a longer process than you might think or that I might want), it still goes well, but there were some moments of real awe and wonder.

We had our all staff monthly meeting, and sharing some expectations I have of the staff and they can have of me led to some amazing discussions and a few tears. God has put together a great staff here, and it is my privilege to lead them toward the Big Dream God has for us together. The conversation there opened up many positive, constructive and creative discussions during the week.

There was a lunch meeting with our Global Missions Director, John Cressaty, and Pastor Craig Fuller from LifePoint Incline Village that really had me thinking about the importance of all we do in the life of our church. There are about 150 children sponsored by families in the two LifePoint churches, and the report from these guys who had just been there a couple weeks ago was amazing. The lives of these kids have been radically changed by the generosity of the folks in Carson Valley and Incline Village. What hit me as I drove away from the meeting was the truth that no other mission organization was able to work with the church and school we are partnered with over there, so without us, literally a whole community would be in danger. The discussion we were having over lunch was about literal life and death issues. It was sobering, making me wonder what silly, foolish things could we let get in the way of important, life changing, life and death work for God's kingdom if we weren't careful. Like I said, sobering.

And the rest of the week has been meetings and preparation for our Accountability Team meeting and making sure we're heading in the right direction as a church. These are good times to be sure, since most of what we get to talk about is good stuff. We keep praying (and you can join us in this prayer) for wisdom and clarity as to the future and some of the big ticket items we have facing us, like building repairs, building the next much needed building, and the site improvement plan. Lots of stuff to think, pray and plan about.

And in the midst of it, my son turned 14, and the kids entered their last week of school for the year. Exciting times, interesting times, and the constant reminder that time is moving ahead, whether we want it to or not. Mac likes to remind me that he's going to be driving in a couple years, which I feel will go by like a couple weeks. Things are really real in my life right now, big things, and important things, but even the small things are good things. They are all very real to me right now.

Getting Back To The Blog Business

Sorry to all you who like to follow the blog, I wanted to leave the post up about Priority Time so folks could see it, and then things got exciting all week, so I didn't get back. Oops. :)

I'm in the process of thinking what would work best here, what the best times/days to post, the right subjects, etc... So feel free to pray for me. In the meantime, I'm going to be adding some blogs I've been reading to the side, and throwing out a book or blog review from time to time, in case that would help anyone out there.

Things are going well for us here in Minden, church is moving forward well, with some really exciting things and some definite challenges, but God is really very present and moving, so all good stuff. Family is good, healthy and looking forward to the end of school this week. Beth is getting opportunities and offers to do some cool ministry, and I'm banging away at all I need to learn.

Meantime, thanks for praying, and please keep it up! Much left to learn, much left to hear from the Spirit.

Entertaining the Parents

Sorry for the space in between the posts, but my Mom and Dad are here, taking their spring break to come check out our new digs. They have been having fun seeing the new neighborhood, checking out the new church, and helping us continue the unpacking process. Mom orgainized the pantry (turns out that's a big job) today while I was working on my messages for this week and Easter. It's good to have a mom around, for sure!!

Mac is on the East Coast doing the Heritage Tour, seeing the historical and cultural sights and buying a sword. Yep, he's 13. :)

So when the visit is over, I'll get back to a more regular (?) schedule of posts, but for now, just know that the transition continues. I'm pretty sure this is normal, but I'm learning about a gigabite per day of tightly compressed information. Trouble is, I'm not an I Pod. But it's going well, I'm getting the hang of the language, the history and the people here at LifePoint. I'm blessed to be here, and blessed to get to use my gifts to serve Jesus in this place.

More soon...

Lifting the Darkness

Okay, that title sounded more ominous that I meant it to. I'm just saying that I'm going to get back to blogging, so the blog won't be 'dark' anymore.

To all the folks out there who've been praying for my family and I as we make this transition to our new home in Minden, NV, a ginormous THANK YOU!!! We have felt lifted up and held close in all this. Our stuff got packed and transported in one piece, and now we are unpacking most of it in our temporary house. Still praying for the house in Idaho to sell, so feel free to pray with us.

In the same loving and gracious way that our First Baptist Family said goodbye to us, our LifePoint Family has welcomed us here to the Carson Valley. To give you a taste of the welcome: the youth staff found out that Mac is a fan of Mountain Dew, so when we get to our house, there were three cases of Mountain Dew cans hidden around the place or lined up in patterns. Mac was having a teenage boy version of an Easter egg hunt! Hilarious! This week my office was decorated with balloons and dark chocolate Reese's cups. Tasteful and tasty!!

After Curt Harlow shared the message this past weekend and the church prayed Beth and I into place, the work has begun in earnest. I'm learning the ropes, figuring out what I'm supposed to know, and finding all of the Starbucks in the valley. At times it feels like I'm getting further behind, but that's just a part of the transition. I've got great people helping me get up to speed, and we're going to make a dent in it before Easter, that's for sure.

I will get a rhythm going with the blog again soon, and I'm working at Twitter, so we'll see how this all pans out. Thanks for reading, and I hope to keep this informative, encouraging, and occasionally funny. As always, your comments are welcome!

Emotional Overload

Name an emotion. Go ahead, pick one. Got it in your head?

Chances are I'm feeling it right now.

After the roller coaster my life has been the past few months, the announcement this past weekend at FBC that I am stepping down to accept a call from another church turned loose a tidal wave of emotions. As people came to congratulate me, chastise me, ask me why or tell me what for, I felt all of the weight of their emotions as well as my own.

I'm a mixed up mess of emotions - excitement and concern, joy and pain, heartache and anticipation, happy and sad. As much as pastors are looked at as a 'different breed of cat,' we're just human beings with human emotions. As much as I hate to feel all these competing ways, it's all I can do. That and pray. So I pray.

Turns out it's hard to leave a place that you love, and it's hard to disappoint so many people all at once, even if it's a right and obedient thing you're doing.

Much appreciation to all who have called, written or told me about how excited they are for us, and for all who have been and continue to pray for us:

• Much appreciation for my FBC family and the ways you are supporting and encouraging us while dealing with your own uncertainty and fears. I know that God has a plan for FBC, and He's going to bring you to a new and glorious future.
• Much appreciation for my LifePoint family and the way you have aggressively prayed for both my immediate family and for my FBC family. God will honor your faithfulness in prayer.

It's my hope that as we celebrate and grieve together that we can all find some grace to share with each other, and some of God's love to cover. Meantime, please continue to pray that I finish well what God has for me here, and that I take up what He has for me at LifePoint with integrity and grace.