I can recall a few years in my life where I was so happy to see the end come that the New Year's Party was a celebration of survival, with a huge does of, "Thank You God for bringing an end to this, let's get on with what's next!!"
1989 - While happy I graduated from college, my world was crushed by a broken engagement. I was happy to see the new decade begin.
1993 - One year married, being asked to leave a ministry job where I was successful because of church politics, homeless on our first anniversary, three different churches on my resume' in six months, and a move to Riverside, CA. Couldn't wait to be done with that year.
2000 - Started the year with struggles at church and at home, Beth with a difficult prengancy (that produced a beautiful baby girl!), and ended with shingles and massive stress. Partied like it was 1999 (yep, Prince reference...)!
2004 - Went from needing hernia surgery in January to needing chemotherapy and radiation in February to needing IV antibiotics for menengitis in May, and finally getting the hernia surgery in October. Words fail to describe how much I wanted that year over.
But as I write this, I don't think 2010 qualifies for this list. There were hard things for sure, like candidating at a new church, leaving the people I loved for 14 years in Pocatello, seeing the pain that has ensued since I left there, leading my family to start a new life in a new place, selling our house in a crappy market, then trying to buy one is a different kind of crappy market, adjusting to a new job, dealing with layoffs and credit union policies - to be sure, the transitions of my life this year have been many, varied, at times difficult, and full of surprises.
But in reality, there were just as many good times: finding out that God still had a plan for my life, and seeing it unfold each day, knowing I am right where He wants me, receiving the loving send off from friends and church family that we will never forget, knowing that our time in Pocatello was not wasted but very effective, being received with love by a great church family here, seeing the grace of God grow in my kids, watching my wife blossom in this new environment, seeing my own gifts of leadership and teaching affirmed and blessed as leaders around me grow and prosper, making new friends and having new adventures, and growing as much as I've ever grown in my life. All of that more than balances the scales.
No, 2010 is not a year I want to run from. It is going to be one that I will cherish, hard parts included. God is good, the rest is details. I'm going to celebrate the close of this year with some looks back over the next week, then lay into the year to come. Feel free to comment...
Showing posts with label moving. Show all posts
Showing posts with label moving. Show all posts
12.31.2010
3.01.2010
Finishing at My Favorite Church
Yes, once again I overestimated my ability to get done with a major event and still have something in the tank to try to post. I'm sorry if you've been hanging out by your computer waiting. My bad.
Sunday morning was both surreal and sublime. After another great worship set, the message was something I hope encouraged and challenged my favorite church to step together with confidence into the future that Jesus has planned for them. It has been tough to think about the future of FBC Poky without thinking of myself being a part of it, but I have seen what my announcement and pending departure has done in the lives of some people. If all the folks who have told me that they are planning to step up and find their place to serve and move the church forward all follow through (and I will pray for all of them to do so), there's nothing that can or will stop this church family from victory for the Kingdom.
Afterward, there were so many warm wishes and personal remembrances, I was overwhelmed more than once.
Then there was lunch with some staff and friends. Rachel got to pick, and in a huge upset, Wingers won over Red Lobster. As with everything else in this process, one word comes to mind: unpredictable. :) A tradition of the Rude family joining the McCreadys for lunch was joined by Pastor MO, Un Boblito and the Pettits, which made a special 'last meal' extra special. Thanks to all of you, I love you so much.
We had to load up the cars and walk away from our house for the last time. That brought a few more tears, especially from Mac as he said goodbye to his room for the last time.
Then it was back to church for the farewell event. Half roast, half comedy show, half worship service, half eulogy - yes, I see that the math adds up to two events, and it was. After four hours, there were laughs, tears, moments of real surprise and a sense of how amazing God has been to all of us over the past four years. No disrespect to anyone, the whole event was amazing, heartfelt, and truly appreciated by my entire family and me, but there were some moments that stood out above the rest:
Let me end with this thought: I called FBC Pocatello my favorite church during the message Sunday morning. I meant it with all my heart. I mean that with no disrespect to the other churches I've served and been a part of in my life, and certainly none toward my new church. But the growth in my life, the experiences, and especially the privilege of being on the front row when God resurrected a dying church, are all unmatched in my life. While I look forward with excitement and a deep sense of call and purpose to the adventure of leading LifePoint Church, I will always have a special place in my heart for the friends and family I have in Pocatello. May God bless you all in every way as you stand as one man and fight to build the Kingdom of Jesus in that city. I carry you all in my heart.
I'm going to go dark here for a time, check back in a week or so. There are boxes to unpack, staffers to meet with, kids to register for school, a wife to love, and a new chapter to begin.
As always, thank you for your prayers. Talk soon!
Sunday morning was both surreal and sublime. After another great worship set, the message was something I hope encouraged and challenged my favorite church to step together with confidence into the future that Jesus has planned for them. It has been tough to think about the future of FBC Poky without thinking of myself being a part of it, but I have seen what my announcement and pending departure has done in the lives of some people. If all the folks who have told me that they are planning to step up and find their place to serve and move the church forward all follow through (and I will pray for all of them to do so), there's nothing that can or will stop this church family from victory for the Kingdom.
Afterward, there were so many warm wishes and personal remembrances, I was overwhelmed more than once.
Then there was lunch with some staff and friends. Rachel got to pick, and in a huge upset, Wingers won over Red Lobster. As with everything else in this process, one word comes to mind: unpredictable. :) A tradition of the Rude family joining the McCreadys for lunch was joined by Pastor MO, Un Boblito and the Pettits, which made a special 'last meal' extra special. Thanks to all of you, I love you so much.
We had to load up the cars and walk away from our house for the last time. That brought a few more tears, especially from Mac as he said goodbye to his room for the last time.
Then it was back to church for the farewell event. Half roast, half comedy show, half worship service, half eulogy - yes, I see that the math adds up to two events, and it was. After four hours, there were laughs, tears, moments of real surprise and a sense of how amazing God has been to all of us over the past four years. No disrespect to anyone, the whole event was amazing, heartfelt, and truly appreciated by my entire family and me, but there were some moments that stood out above the rest:
- Jessica Rude gave a fantastic recap of Beth's 9.5 years of leading the youth ministry with a tremendous mix of the serious and the funny. No, Beth does not really think she has all the spiritual gifts, nor is Santa just Satan spelled backwards, but the impact of Beth's ministry continues to be felt in the lives of the students she led, and in the church family as a whole. That was great work, Jessa.
- The look of shock on my face was real when Gene Martin walked onto the platform to share about the missions work over the years, including the trip he and I got to be a part of to New Orleans. To say Gene is a little uncomfortable in front of groups is like saying Canada is a little proud of their hockey team. But he was up there letting the world know what God had led this church to do for people outside our local community. I am so proud of him. Again.
- Auctioning off a tie in my honor was genius. And I'm buying a steak, just so you know.
- Pastor Mike Harris from Arco stole the show in my opinion. A Top Ten list, a giant cookie, a statement that will live forever in... my heart (and no, I can't share it on the web, sorry), and fried pickles. I may never be able to wipe the smile off my face. Sign that boy up for a comedy night, someone!!
- I thought I had cried all my tears for the week (or year...) until I heard the statistic that we had baptized over 175 people in 14 years. I didn't realize that it had been that many, and it shocked me to hear it. That's 100 more people than were in the church in 1996. All that tells me is that God was very busy changing lives over the last 14 years.
- Kathy Nelson is not the public speaker on the staff, but her explanation of the reach-out history, from Concert In The Park to Recovery Fest left me in awe. If there's one thing I'm the most proud of is that we listened to what God said to us and went out to love others in Jesus name.
Let me end with this thought: I called FBC Pocatello my favorite church during the message Sunday morning. I meant it with all my heart. I mean that with no disrespect to the other churches I've served and been a part of in my life, and certainly none toward my new church. But the growth in my life, the experiences, and especially the privilege of being on the front row when God resurrected a dying church, are all unmatched in my life. While I look forward with excitement and a deep sense of call and purpose to the adventure of leading LifePoint Church, I will always have a special place in my heart for the friends and family I have in Pocatello. May God bless you all in every way as you stand as one man and fight to build the Kingdom of Jesus in that city. I carry you all in my heart.
I'm going to go dark here for a time, check back in a week or so. There are boxes to unpack, staffers to meet with, kids to register for school, a wife to love, and a new chapter to begin.
As always, thank you for your prayers. Talk soon!
2.27.2010
Saturday At Starbucks
Yesterday was hard. The truck came and loaded all our worldly possessions, leaving an empty (and somewhat dirty...) house where we used to live. The kids were off playing with friends for most of the day, so when they came home to their house and found it empty, there were tears. They are still excited about moving, excited for the new adventure, but it's hard to leave the only place you've ever lived, and for Rachel, the only house she's ever called home. I told her about her first day home, her first steps, and all the other firsts in that house. She laughed and cried and slept like a rock last night. Good for her.
Today, while Beth and friends are cleaning so we can sell our house (pray early, pray often!), I'm here at Starbucks trying to write my last message to the church here in Pocatello as their pastor. I know that I might get invited back someday for an anniversary, or a building dedication, or something else big and fun, but maybe not. Whatever the future holds, I have tomorrow to share my last word from God to the people of the FBC Family. It's a good word, and I think god's been prepping my heart for it for the entire month. But now when the thoughts and ideas are supposed to be coming into the keyboard, they collide with feelings and emotions, and it once again becomes more difficult than usual.
So on the last Saturday of my ministry here, the last message waits for the last mocha to stir the last thoughts to become the last sermon of my last Sunday. I love these people; always have, even during the tough times. I love what God has done here, both in them and in me through them. I think I gained as much or more than I gave, and I know I gave my all. God has a great plan for this church, and I know that the best days are in front of them.
Tomorrow I'll post one last time from here. After that, I'll go dark for a while, so that I can get my life together at the other end. Truck gets to Minden on Tuesday, kids start school and my first staff meeting on Wednesday, and I've got an Accountability Team meeting on Saturday. One week from today, I'll be drinking a mocha from a different Starbucks in a different state at a different office of a different church. I'm trusting in God to make this all work right, but for now, one last message remains.
Thanks again to all for the prayers on our behalf. I can't imagine how hard this would be without all of you praying for all of us. The Lord Bless you.
Today, while Beth and friends are cleaning so we can sell our house (pray early, pray often!), I'm here at Starbucks trying to write my last message to the church here in Pocatello as their pastor. I know that I might get invited back someday for an anniversary, or a building dedication, or something else big and fun, but maybe not. Whatever the future holds, I have tomorrow to share my last word from God to the people of the FBC Family. It's a good word, and I think god's been prepping my heart for it for the entire month. But now when the thoughts and ideas are supposed to be coming into the keyboard, they collide with feelings and emotions, and it once again becomes more difficult than usual.
So on the last Saturday of my ministry here, the last message waits for the last mocha to stir the last thoughts to become the last sermon of my last Sunday. I love these people; always have, even during the tough times. I love what God has done here, both in them and in me through them. I think I gained as much or more than I gave, and I know I gave my all. God has a great plan for this church, and I know that the best days are in front of them.
Tomorrow I'll post one last time from here. After that, I'll go dark for a while, so that I can get my life together at the other end. Truck gets to Minden on Tuesday, kids start school and my first staff meeting on Wednesday, and I've got an Accountability Team meeting on Saturday. One week from today, I'll be drinking a mocha from a different Starbucks in a different state at a different office of a different church. I'm trusting in God to make this all work right, but for now, one last message remains.
Thanks again to all for the prayers on our behalf. I can't imagine how hard this would be without all of you praying for all of us. The Lord Bless you.
2.24.2010
Lunch
Today was an important day. Our staff has had a tradition of doing lunch out together for special occasions. Birthdays mainly, Administrative Professional's Day for sure, but some other stuff once in a while, too. After staff meeting on a Wednesday we go. Sometimes it's a surprise where we end up, sometimes it's a vote, sometimes it's the choice of the 'honoree.'
Today was my last staff lunch as the pastor of FBC Pocatello.
They let me pick, so we went to Red Lobster (which was everyone's guess ahead of time), and once again we sat around a large, round table and talked, ate and enjoyed each other. It has been my privilege to serve with some amazing people over the years, and to have lunches with them and celebrate. This one was no different. Lots of laughter, lots of shrimp, lots of fun with people I love.
I wish that we could have another lunch and have Beth, Becky, Troy, Tait, Nico, Bill, Brittney,Quentin, Patti, Megan, Linda, Brian, Kyle, Becky and Diana there, just to be the full history of the FBC Staff while I've been here, but that will have to wait until the 125 anniversary of the church (circle your calendar for November, 2016!).
I got to tell them once again how much I love them, how I am confident in their ministry and the future of FBC, and how I'm invested in them personally into the future, whatever future that is for them. These are great people, doing great work with great hearts, and I'm proud of them, proud to serve with them, and proud to call them friends. FBC Family, you are blessed to have such great people working with you and leading you.
I got asked what my favorite part of being on staff with these folks was, and the answer came easier than I expected. As much as I have loved doing ministry day to day with everyone, my favorite part has always been the road trips. The trips to Saddleback, the Nightmare at Deer Lodge, the Boise trip, Seattle, even the infamous Tri Cities trek are all special memories. Being out of our context, being real people together, talking, dreaming, eating good food, and having some unhurried time on the road has always been some of the best fun and most productive think/plan/dream time. Terms like, "Roma-rita," "Red Roof Inn," "Anger Management," and "We're together...not TOGETHER..." all invoke an insider's smile and warm memories for me.
I will miss coming to the office and seeing you, I will miss working and worshiping with you, and I will miss being molded and shaped by your lives and ministries. May God bless each of you - Karl, Stacy, Kathy, Aaron, Chris and Vern. I love you, and I can't wait to see what God does in and through each of you in the days and years to come.
Today was my last staff lunch as the pastor of FBC Pocatello.
They let me pick, so we went to Red Lobster (which was everyone's guess ahead of time), and once again we sat around a large, round table and talked, ate and enjoyed each other. It has been my privilege to serve with some amazing people over the years, and to have lunches with them and celebrate. This one was no different. Lots of laughter, lots of shrimp, lots of fun with people I love.
I wish that we could have another lunch and have Beth, Becky, Troy, Tait, Nico, Bill, Brittney,Quentin, Patti, Megan, Linda, Brian, Kyle, Becky and Diana there, just to be the full history of the FBC Staff while I've been here, but that will have to wait until the 125 anniversary of the church (circle your calendar for November, 2016!).
I got to tell them once again how much I love them, how I am confident in their ministry and the future of FBC, and how I'm invested in them personally into the future, whatever future that is for them. These are great people, doing great work with great hearts, and I'm proud of them, proud to serve with them, and proud to call them friends. FBC Family, you are blessed to have such great people working with you and leading you.
I got asked what my favorite part of being on staff with these folks was, and the answer came easier than I expected. As much as I have loved doing ministry day to day with everyone, my favorite part has always been the road trips. The trips to Saddleback, the Nightmare at Deer Lodge, the Boise trip, Seattle, even the infamous Tri Cities trek are all special memories. Being out of our context, being real people together, talking, dreaming, eating good food, and having some unhurried time on the road has always been some of the best fun and most productive think/plan/dream time. Terms like, "Roma-rita," "Red Roof Inn," "Anger Management," and "We're together...not TOGETHER..." all invoke an insider's smile and warm memories for me.
I will miss coming to the office and seeing you, I will miss working and worshiping with you, and I will miss being molded and shaped by your lives and ministries. May God bless each of you - Karl, Stacy, Kathy, Aaron, Chris and Vern. I love you, and I can't wait to see what God does in and through each of you in the days and years to come.
2.22.2010
The Week of Last
My daughter Rachel woke up today and said, "Today is my last Monday at school." She is the one who's having the hardest time with our move, and the weight of her 'lasts' seems to be heaviest. I resisted the urge to tell her that there will be a lot more Mondays in her life, and a lot more Mondays of school for that matter. Instead I hugged her and told her it was going to be good, so she might as well get started.
It's getting down to the wire, and I am seeing the 'lasts' of my time in Pocatello piling up. I know that we will be back to visit - both kids were born here, we've made life-long friendships here, and Beth loves Buddy's salads, so of course we're coming back - but everyone knows that coming for a visit isn't the same.
So I'm trying to find the joy in my 'lasts' when I can. The last trip to the Bannock County Jail to visit prisoners. The last staff meeting. The last lunch at the country club (note: I was never a member, but did harbor aspirations...). All the last dinners with friends. The last LLC was today (much love to my group - I carry you in my heart!). And I went to the Cancer Center for the last time as a patient today. Six years after being diagnosed, they are sad to see me go, but glad I'm going under my own steam. And, my cholesterol was down!!!
I realized that some of my lasts were a while ago, but I didn't know it at the time: my last wedding here, my last funeral here, my last time to pray at the city council meeting, my last Cancer Survivor Picnic here, my last Relay for Life here. Without knowing it, I attended my last Bengal game and celebrated my last Christmas here. These things that I didn't know were ending for me here, but now I look back and remember.
This week will have a few more 'lasts': my last staff lunch. My last Pastor's Prayer gathering. My last day in the office. My last message to my church family. My last goodbye to these people whom I love so dearly. One last party as your pastor here.
I have tried to imagine what it would feel like to leave, and it's tougher than I thought. Each step carries with it a fresh load of emotions and tears. But at the same time, I am starting to get some excitement for what is in front of me, and what is in front of FBC Pocatello. I'm getting fired up about what God wants to do next, but that's for the next post. For now, I'm just living and learning from the 'lasts.'
It's getting down to the wire, and I am seeing the 'lasts' of my time in Pocatello piling up. I know that we will be back to visit - both kids were born here, we've made life-long friendships here, and Beth loves Buddy's salads, so of course we're coming back - but everyone knows that coming for a visit isn't the same.
So I'm trying to find the joy in my 'lasts' when I can. The last trip to the Bannock County Jail to visit prisoners. The last staff meeting. The last lunch at the country club (note: I was never a member, but did harbor aspirations...). All the last dinners with friends. The last LLC was today (much love to my group - I carry you in my heart!). And I went to the Cancer Center for the last time as a patient today. Six years after being diagnosed, they are sad to see me go, but glad I'm going under my own steam. And, my cholesterol was down!!!
I realized that some of my lasts were a while ago, but I didn't know it at the time: my last wedding here, my last funeral here, my last time to pray at the city council meeting, my last Cancer Survivor Picnic here, my last Relay for Life here. Without knowing it, I attended my last Bengal game and celebrated my last Christmas here. These things that I didn't know were ending for me here, but now I look back and remember.
This week will have a few more 'lasts': my last staff lunch. My last Pastor's Prayer gathering. My last day in the office. My last message to my church family. My last goodbye to these people whom I love so dearly. One last party as your pastor here.
I have tried to imagine what it would feel like to leave, and it's tougher than I thought. Each step carries with it a fresh load of emotions and tears. But at the same time, I am starting to get some excitement for what is in front of me, and what is in front of FBC Pocatello. I'm getting fired up about what God wants to do next, but that's for the next post. For now, I'm just living and learning from the 'lasts.'
2.18.2010
Joy and Tears, Sadness and Laughter
The whirlwind of winding up here at FBC is continuing, and there have been many lunches, dinners, meetings, appointments and conversations, with more left to come. I have been asked great questions about how I'm feeling, what's the new church going to be like, how are the kids doing with the move, etc... I answer as honestly as I can, and it's been good to talk about it with folks I love and who love me and wants what God wants for me.
I got asked if I was excited to go to LifePoint, and I gave an odd answer (even for me...). I said, I haven't had the chance to be excited yet. I've been so full of bittersweet feelings over leaving that I haven't had the opportunity to get excited about what God has next.
Yes, I know that God is calling me and my family to go, and yes, all the reasons why are still good reasons. I will become very excited to be there the closer we get, and I don't want anyone misreading what I'm saying. I am looking forward to what I've been called to do, and I want to get there and get started.
But I feel like God has given me a gift right now, and the gift is to be able to block out any excitement for going to LifePoint in order to finish being here in Pocatello. The joy I feel in talking to so many folks about what God has done over these last 14 years is mixed with tears of sadness over what I will miss when I go. And in my sadness over leaving, I have had deep moments of humor and laughter over the adventures we have had here. Every emotion is mixed with one or two more.
I love what God is doing in my life, and I love what God has been doing in my life. In saying "yes" to LifePoint, I don't believe I'm saying "no" to FBC Pocatello, it's just that I'm needing to follow God's guidance in my life, and leave an opening for the right person to come here and lift this church to a new level.
All that mixes up in a fizzy, bubbling, cacophony of feelings and emotions. Sometimes I laugh when I'm crying, and sometimes I cry when I'm laughing. Sometimes I feel deep joy and satisfaction while still feeling aches and sadness. But in all of it, God's hand continues to be clear, and the good news is that He's still in control, even when my emotions are all over the map.
Thanks to all who continue to pray for us and this transition. Please don't stop, and please for give me if you think my emotional state isn't where you might think it should be. It's hard for me to figure out how I'm supposed to feel.
I got asked if I was excited to go to LifePoint, and I gave an odd answer (even for me...). I said, I haven't had the chance to be excited yet. I've been so full of bittersweet feelings over leaving that I haven't had the opportunity to get excited about what God has next.
Yes, I know that God is calling me and my family to go, and yes, all the reasons why are still good reasons. I will become very excited to be there the closer we get, and I don't want anyone misreading what I'm saying. I am looking forward to what I've been called to do, and I want to get there and get started.
But I feel like God has given me a gift right now, and the gift is to be able to block out any excitement for going to LifePoint in order to finish being here in Pocatello. The joy I feel in talking to so many folks about what God has done over these last 14 years is mixed with tears of sadness over what I will miss when I go. And in my sadness over leaving, I have had deep moments of humor and laughter over the adventures we have had here. Every emotion is mixed with one or two more.
I love what God is doing in my life, and I love what God has been doing in my life. In saying "yes" to LifePoint, I don't believe I'm saying "no" to FBC Pocatello, it's just that I'm needing to follow God's guidance in my life, and leave an opening for the right person to come here and lift this church to a new level.
All that mixes up in a fizzy, bubbling, cacophony of feelings and emotions. Sometimes I laugh when I'm crying, and sometimes I cry when I'm laughing. Sometimes I feel deep joy and satisfaction while still feeling aches and sadness. But in all of it, God's hand continues to be clear, and the good news is that He's still in control, even when my emotions are all over the map.
Thanks to all who continue to pray for us and this transition. Please don't stop, and please for give me if you think my emotional state isn't where you might think it should be. It's hard for me to figure out how I'm supposed to feel.
2.10.2010
Emotional Overload
Name an emotion. Go ahead, pick one. Got it in your head?
Chances are I'm feeling it right now.
After the roller coaster my life has been the past few months, the announcement this past weekend at FBC that I am stepping down to accept a call from another church turned loose a tidal wave of emotions. As people came to congratulate me, chastise me, ask me why or tell me what for, I felt all of the weight of their emotions as well as my own.
I'm a mixed up mess of emotions - excitement and concern, joy and pain, heartache and anticipation, happy and sad. As much as pastors are looked at as a 'different breed of cat,' we're just human beings with human emotions. As much as I hate to feel all these competing ways, it's all I can do. That and pray. So I pray.
Turns out it's hard to leave a place that you love, and it's hard to disappoint so many people all at once, even if it's a right and obedient thing you're doing.
Much appreciation to all who have called, written or told me about how excited they are for us, and for all who have been and continue to pray for us:
Chances are I'm feeling it right now.
After the roller coaster my life has been the past few months, the announcement this past weekend at FBC that I am stepping down to accept a call from another church turned loose a tidal wave of emotions. As people came to congratulate me, chastise me, ask me why or tell me what for, I felt all of the weight of their emotions as well as my own.
I'm a mixed up mess of emotions - excitement and concern, joy and pain, heartache and anticipation, happy and sad. As much as pastors are looked at as a 'different breed of cat,' we're just human beings with human emotions. As much as I hate to feel all these competing ways, it's all I can do. That and pray. So I pray.
Turns out it's hard to leave a place that you love, and it's hard to disappoint so many people all at once, even if it's a right and obedient thing you're doing.
Much appreciation to all who have called, written or told me about how excited they are for us, and for all who have been and continue to pray for us:
- Much appreciation for my FBC family and the ways you are supporting and encouraging us while dealing with your own uncertainty and fears. I know that God has a plan for FBC, and He's going to bring you to a new and glorious future.
- Much appreciation for my LifePoint family and the way you have aggressively prayed for both my immediate family and for my FBC family. God will honor your faithfulness in prayer.
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