Giving Myself a Gift This Christmas

I figured out what I need for Christmas. I'm not sure what I want (I want a lot of things, but they are just that... wants. And not many are going to fit in the budget, but that's a post for a different day), but I know what I need.

I need permission.

I have some feelings. I'm a guy, so I have a harder time verbalizing them or even recognizing them, but I recognize the symptoms of having them. I'm feeling those symptoms today, so I know that there are some feelings rattling around in my life.

So I was talking to a friend today, and they said that I needed to give myself permission to feel those feelings. It was the most simple thought, but it was huge for me, an epiphany, "like lightning hit my brain!"

I am going to give myself permission this Christmas to feel my feelings. I'm going to be okay with having them, with acknowledging them, and with dealing with them. Period. It will be the best present I can give myself this year. Permission to feel? GRANTED! I can feel what it is like to be in a new place for Christmas, what it feels like to miss my friends, what it feels like to want to be with my family and know that I can't. I can feel anticipation for Christmas and the little nervousness of wanting to do well my first time at LifePoint Church on Christmas Eve. I can feel the awkwardness of new friendships and the distance of old ones. I give myself permission.

I was reminded that emotions and feelings are all over the Bible, even among leaders of God's people. So I'm in good company. Moses, David, Jeremiah, even Jesus had feelings. Mary was scared, so the angel said, "Don't be afraid." Peter got mad, Paul got frustrated, and on down the list. We all have feelings.

Do you need permission to feel this Christmas? It's okay, give yourself the gift of feeling your feelings. Then, each time you do, say a prayer and ask God to show you if there is bitterness, or fear, or unforgiveness or something else under those feelings that needs to be rooted out and dealt with. Because the greatest gift you could give yourself is the freedom that comes from allowing God's help into your life to deal with difficult emotions, feelings and situations.

This Christmas, enjoy the gift of feeling. Feel all of it: the wonder, the love, the grace, the amazement of the gift of Jesus Christ. Feel it all. Take it all in, and give great thanks to the giver of all good gifts.